It’s World Suicide Prevention Day. I’m not going to pretend that I have all the answers or that I can provide some sort of step by step guide of what you should do if you’re feeling suicidal. There are a million of those out there and I don’t know how useful they are, to be … Continue reading The Year I Wanted to Die
Four of my poems about what it's like to experience chronic illness, pain or particular symptoms are being displayed on The Unchargeables right now. I don't usually discuss the meaning behind my poems, but I wanted to offer a little explanation of each for those who aren't real familiar with poetry so that they might … Continue reading The Poetry of Pain
This is one of those posts where I try to reconcile what happened at my last doctor’s appointment, which means it is stream of consciousness and I am pretty angry. It was my appointment with an allergist and mast cell/eosinophilic specialist here in Cincinnati. It was my initial consultation with this doctor and while I … Continue reading MCAS & Doctors Disbelieving Patients
Confession Time: Since all the changes in my health this spring, I feel so much better most of the time that I sometimes fear losing touch with my base. I also fear a lot more often that someone, not just ignorant healthy people, but another spoonie, is going to accuse me of faking. I’ve lived … Continue reading Confessions of an Anxious Spoonie
Here’s an excellent guide on eliminating boundary crossing. If you commonly feel like you’re being taken advantage of, you probably are and this is going to be an enlightening read for you. What most people fail to recognize is their own culpability in the situation. I’m by no means saying one should stew in their share of the responsibility; what I suggest is that you take responsibility instead, by following the excellent advice below.
It’s tricky. It takes a lot of work and a little courage, but once you manage to sink the first successful fence posts, you realize just how much more manageable life can become when you’re no longer everyone’s doormat. Of course, it’s much easier with the new people in your life than those who are accustomed to trespassing, but you will be pleasantly surprised how much others respect you when you show them how much you respect yourself and begin the regular practice of saying, “No.” If you’re a person living with an autoimmune condition that forces you to guard your energy stores like they’re the last bit of grain on the planet, you couldn’t do yourself any greater service.
“I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Gavin de Becker
1. Identify current boundary crossers
The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying who it is that is the boundary crosser. How does this person make you feel? Most likely, telling this person how you feel will get you no where. They may even get satisfaction from hearing your plea. Remember, it is not uncommon for boundary crossers to be very purposeful in their boundary crossing behavior. This means they often know that they are doing it! If you feel taken advantage of, oppressed or bullied, it is important to make the conscious decision to change how you are interacting with them. Keep in mind, none of this will happen overnight. But, it definitely won’t happen unless you decide with the utmost conviction that something needs to change.
2. Consider how your past influences your present
Were you taught to set healthy boundaries? If…
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